Wahnsinn des Herzens
by Kikurukina Bal Des'cagel
Summary: The ravings and madness of the heart of a fugitive princess.
1. Chapter 1

**Wahnsinn des Herzens**

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

**Disclaimer:** I do not own.

**Fore Note:** _Wahnsinn des Herzens_ is German (Deutsch?) for _Madness/ravings of the heart_.

Honestly, what do we call this? Evilshipping? Enemyshipping? Someone, please come up with a name!

Really, I wrote this last night when I could not sleep.

Don't ask why it's German. It's just awesome.

* * *

It was a thirteen year contract.

I don't know why I had done it and I probably was being really stupid at the time but I don't regret it not a single bit. If I had the chance to choose again, I would have chosen the same thing over and over.

I'm not particularly bright. I don't mean to say that I was at math or made simple water explode in a beaker because my mental capabilities far outmatch most computers. I was very good at the fine arts but I did not find the joy that some people did. As a fairy, I had exceedingly extraordinary powers that almost entered the untouchable realm of Verboten, the most dangerous and forbidden field of study of magic. I enjoyed the study of magic but my magical education was empty and deprived, it seemed. People were wary of me practising magic without supervision because they made it sound like a something terrible was to happen if I was left unchecked. It was years later that I would realise that I was Verbieten.

Socially, I was inept, as I have been told. I can't think for myself without being influenced and I seldom made my own choices in the earlier parts of my life but who could during those years?

I'm digressing.

My thirteen year contract was binding and it left a mark on my body. A mark that I now wear proudly on my body as a sign of my devotion and love to the man I cannot quite requite my feelings to for I was not the only one. I did not want to become one of those mindless harpies cum traitors.

There had been the dark-haired and severely inattentive Solarian Chimera who could not make a single choice without her mother, some greedy low-ranking hag. Then there were also thse three ever incessantly bickering witches called Icy, Darcy and Stormy who called themselves the Trix. They were really pitiful because they way they fought always included throwing lightning, ice and spheres of darkness at each other but I did once have a quaint and enjoyable relationship with Stormy until they fled from my Master's side in the middle of battle.

My Master is the most beautiful man in the world.

Nothing will budge me from that stance. I could go one for hours just looking at him because he is simple the most breathtaking man I have ever met.

He has long golden blond hair that I simply ached to comb. He has a square jaw and an admirable long and pointed nose that gave him a sort of aristocratic flare that I often admired in men. He has the most curious cut of bangs that line the sides of his face that often obscure his icy blue gray eyes that I adored. His lips are like a feast for my eyes. My Master is often prone to not showing emotion but I could tell from his lips what he was thinking. He bites his when he was worried; he smiles slowly when he discovers or realises something that is important; he bears his teeth in a snarl when he is irritated or displeased; he licks his lips when he is nervous.

He is pale in skin tone but strong shoulders and calloused hands show how hard he has worked. He is lithe and sinewy like a dancer but he is also a skilled swordsman. His quick mind and knowledge is evidence of his years of hard work before his imprisonment.

As a man, he is extraordinary. He is charming and funny when he wants to be and makes good company. In short, he is a gentleman of the highest degree. I cherish every conversation I have with him even though he is the one who does most of the speaking. Most of the conversation always ends up about what he studies. It's not boring what he tells me because I can appreciate the rarity of the knowledge. His studies lead him into the most obscure fields of study that often cross over into Verboten.

When I was little, I was told repeatedly that I should not go looking for the Verboten unless I wanted to get whipped or burned with hot iron. I didn't know why back then because it seemed I had the potential for it but now I understand the dangers. Some things were simply meant to be left to the universe. Which is ironic because many people seem to disregard this rule and do as they please. Namely my Master who was born Verbieten as I was, and the self-titled Princess of Sparks, Bloom. There are others but some of them have had the good sense to not tamper with the universe by choice.

I don't know why he bothers with me because I'm only a simple fugitive princess that committed high treason. He would probably be better off without me so I try to stay out of his way because I do enjoy being in his presence. After all, I have no choice in the matter because I am bound to him by contract for thirteen years. I shudder to think of what would become of me if I were not under his contract. Probably dead since I was most likely on my way to the noose back on my home planet when he summoned.

Still, I love him.

* * *

**Latter Note: **Omigod, omigod! It's DiasproxBaltor!! Yes, this has to do with Verboten the story (the one with Roxy)!! However, it can be read as a standalone because I will explain Verboten.

1) Verboten: GERMAN forbidden, prohibited, banned  
2) Verbieten: GERMAN to forbid

Someone, come up with a name? Evilshipping? Enemyshipping?

Yes, I know, Diaspro is bordering mindless zombie but that's how it's supposed to sound like.


	2. Chapter 2

**Wahnsinn des Herzens**

Thursday, August 27, 2009

**Disclaimer:** I do not own.

* * *

I know that in my heart that we will never be together because I am after all, a lowly minion.

I am lucky that he even grants me sentience or else I would just be another mindless servant of his Lordship.

"My Lord" is how I address him because I thought it was an appropriate way of addressing my Master. He had once told me that did not appreciated being call 'Master' as the contract highlighted the relationship and I amended it quickly something more elegant. He seemed pleased with 'my Lord.' I still call him 'Master' in my mind though, as the contract on my neck says I should. The contract seems to have a mind of its own sometimes and I wonder if my Master is aware of it. I hear a hum sometimes when I feel the contract working on me.

Recently, my Master had suffered a bearable defeat under the lake at Light Fortress and it was a month later when he called for his minions. I was traveling back to my home planet when I felt his rich and deep voice enter my mind and commanded me to him while the mark at my neck became warm. I simply slipped away from my retinue of guards by lulling them to sleep with a hum (magic was involved, of course).

I found my Master quickly in the obscure realm of Poneros galaxies away from where I lived but I did not care because my Master had called me. I had to admit though that it was a nice and quaint sort of realm that reminded me of Eraklyon Castle. I found him on a lakeshore that was contoured by an archaic village that still relied on medieval methods of survival. I will say this now that I don't have anything against using a real fire to cook a meal or dipping yourself in cold water for a bath but what concerned me was that the village bordered serfdom with the little stone and mud thatched roof huts and malnourished people working on fields.

All of this was long after I realised that I was the only one to come to my Master's summons and I was enraged at the lack of loyalty. He then laughed at me with that rich voice of his as if enjoying my rage and said, "You're the only one under my contract, my dear." At that, I became flushed.

We stood on a beach of sorts we walked along the shore for a bit as he told me what we were going to do. Which was strange because I was still wearing my immaculate red and gold dress and he was wearing his purple coat with a classic linen shirt, black pants and soft leather boots as he explained to me his plans. We kind of looked like we were taking a stroll or courting each other.

The forest surrounding the lake was dense and filled with life. I saw several wolves step out from the tree line to walk long it with several puppies. I saw fish jumping out of the crystalline lake and birds fly in a ragged bird about our heads. The serfs gave us wary looks as we passed by their fields and we saw the dissension etched in their faces as they eyed us. The lake was also surrounded by two particularly close mountains and the lake had several islands dotting its surface.

"There is a man here that I would like to meet," he started, "He owes me quite a bit." He pointed at a gleaming stone castle that sat at the base of a mountain a fair distance away from the lake. It was not too far nor was it too close. "Actually, it's more like invasion of my home."

"My Lord?" I asked clarification.

"This land is mine," he waved his arms about him meaning the land. "I might have left my castle for seventeen years but it does not mean that I was dead nor did I let anyone have it," he said more to himself. "Someone had the audacity to set themselves in my home.

So he was of good birth, I thought. We were there to reclaim a piece of property that solely and rightfully belonged to my Master. "Do you mean to say that the serf village is yours as well?"

"Of course. I need food to survive, too," he said with a tinge of humour.

"Do you mean to storm the castle?" I can speak rather formally if I want to.

"Right at this very moment. Will you accompany me?" he said rather jovially. It looked like intended to enjoy the attack.

I don't know why I like him. I just do.

I wanted to say yes immediately but I was not quite dressed for the part of looking menacing. I looked down at my gown with a little concern. I could transform but I was a little worried about being recognised since I had just run away from my death penalty. I followed him up to the castle door. It was a massive thing but I had seen enough castles to say it was not the most defensible or impressive thing in the world.

And then he blasted it down with a single wave of his hands. He sauntered on in deliberately throwing in ultimatums and telling people to leave while he made pieces of furniture exploded into splinters. I won't go into detail because it was all pretty simple. He found and threatened the then 'Lord' Gudrun to leave or he would massacre them all. This all happened in the Great Hall by the way and looked like it was lunch time for them. Anyways, there was a bit of arguing and shouting and then people started running out of the castle.

Then the castle was finally his. It felt all too terribly odd since wouldn't that mean that someone could track him here? No one did though and we eventually set up house in the place and got on to studying.

* * *

**Latter Note: **She's still a zombie of sorts but she can express herself. The reason of the castle is important. Diaspro won't know everything about the entire situation which is why her explanations aren't too terribly detailed like why Valtor has a castle or is of noble birth.


	3. Chapter 3

**Wahnsinn des Herzens**

Sunday, September 27, 2009

**Disclaimer:** I do not own.

**Fore Note:** Shoutouts to Winx Fairy/Phoebe Rerun, Stills and Photographs, Remy9Clover and Fairie-of-Darkness!

Creepy? Yes. Intentional? Yes. Obssessive? Yes. True love? Maybe...

* * *

I woke up feeling really odd the next day and for next few days after that after I realised that I was really a fugitive princess. Not that it mattered anymore but I was sure that people would be looking for me. Looking to kill me anyways.

I should probably explain the predicament of 'on my way to the noose' since time is not really of the importance to me anymore. Only my Master's time mattered to me. His happiness above all but I guess I'm straying. I'm sorry.

I probably should introduce who I am, too, since you're probably wondering who is this raving lunatic, no? I hope that you don't think I'm a raving lunatic or at all but anyways… I want to avoid being dramatic, actually which is turning out to be quite a challenge. I don't want to say "I am…" with a dramatic pause following it—Merciful Dragon, I really am getting nowhere with this! I'm so sorry! I'm just so confused and my thoughts are scattered everywhere.

There are moments when I don't know where my thoughts are going or whether they are even _my_ thoughts! Sometimes they are just beyond my grasp! I see them in front of me and when I rush to grab them, the slip through my hands like sand and it's so frustrating! One moment I'm remembering something as clear as day and the next it's gone and I'm left wondering what was it I was thinking. I want to rip my hair out so many times or to cry sometimes because it's so damn frustrating. There are even moments when I want to hit my head against a good solid wall to force myself to remember.

It's only been a couple of days since I've returned to my Master and I try to hide this weakness of mine because I don't want to show him that I'm weak! I was so happy when he called me because it seemed that no one cared about me anymore…

Goddamnit, I'm getting nowhere again! What was I doing? Right, introducing myself. I think I shall have to keep a journal or agenda of sorts to keep my thoughts and tasks organised.

To put it simply, my name is Diaspro Caelestis Panthera leo Hyacinthus. I feel that I have been called other names before but I can't quite put my finger on it. I can think of a few nicknames that I had growing up: Propro and Hyacinth, mainly. Hyacinth is a type of pretty flowers that were prevalent where I grew up. Hyacinthus is the genus name; not a big difference there. I'm not particularly a flowery person. Don't get me wrong; I like flowers! It's just I'm not crazy enough to make a study of them and go down writing their genus names and whatnot or start caring of what family they're from. I just like flowers if they are pretty and/or smell nice. I'm particularly fond of water lilies and tulips though. Roses are overrated in my opinion.

Panthera leo (yes, the L in leo is miniscule) is basically a lion. Lions were apparently the heraldic animal in my birth home and were aplenty where I came from but I didn't grow up with them. I grew up with wolves and bears instead…

Caelestis means 'heaven' or 'sky.' Nothing special there and I never really used it. I think they just tacked it on to me make me sound heavenly. I think they had an alternate reason to giving it to me though. I can't remember. It's one of those memories that slip through my hands but I'm not too terribly worried about it.

Diaspro is type of milky orange, red and sometimes black jasper. Personally, I like my name. It's harsh-sounding and a big contrast from most soft-sounding feminine names like Selina or Isabella…or Bloom or Stella. Hmm…where did I get those names? Who cares?

So, you know my name. I'm sure you're wondering about this fugitive princess predicament, right? In short, I am the Imperial Princess of Eraklyon and the Crown Princess of Isis Hyacinthus.

Nice titles, aren't they? They both don't mean much when you think of demographics of the both planets. Eraklyon formally only has about twenty-eight million 'humans' or humanoid life-forms. Basically anything that lives and participates in the running of a city or town and is recognised on a galactic scale. (Politicians are stingy.) However, that does not mean 'animals' cannot be intelligent as humans. They just don't live in cities. Remember, Eraklyon is a huge planet—about the size of the Solar System's Neptune. I'll let you think about that for yourself. The same thing applies for Isis Hycinthus with only a recognised population of fifteen million and a planet the size of Saturn.

In short, I was the princess of one big planet and sent to another to be someone's bride. That was about four years ago.

Okay, to be honest, this is where it gets hazy. Remember what I said about memories escaping me earlier? This is what has been frustrating me for the last few days. I'm on the verge of tears because I can't remember freakin' single thing from the last four years! I don't even remember who was supposed to be my groom! Merciful Dragon, was I married? Did I have kids?! Gods, I must be the universe's worst mother if I did! I know that this is really bad of me to say but I hope that I did not have any kids. I wouldn't to put them to this kind of trouble!

When I think of 'groom,' I imagine a very serious man with yellow hair and nice blue eyes but that might be an implanted image because every girl wants to marry a blond blue-eyed man. I don't know. My 'groom' had a very strange style of hair with light blond locks but that might just be me.

I draw a blank when I try to remember the last four years. I remember being sent to Eraklyon to be a bride and suddenly, I'm back on a transport carrier on Eraklyon heading back home for Isis. The reasons why I was going back to Isis were strange. Apparently, I was going home to…? I remember that as soon as I was to get home, it would be the end. After home, there was nothing. No plans for the future, not even being idle and ruling a kingdom, which seems logical, doesn't it? Apparently, 'home' meant 'the end.' This meant…

It meant that I would…

Would…?

Would what? This was only three days ago. How can I not remember?! I was sitting in that stupid carrier three freakin' days ago until I escaped my retinue and went to find my Master!

Goddamnit, another memory slipped by me! Why? Why? Why? WHY? I didn't do anything! Am I being punished?! What did I do?! Please, tell me what I did and I will repent! I don't deserve to be punished! Gods, I'm so sorry…

-

The room that I awoke up in was strange yet familiar. Strange because it was not necessarily mine since someone had obviously dwelled in it before and familiar because I was becoming accustomed to it. I had been sleeping that room for several days since Valtor reclaimed it but it was still strange. The last few days were strange actually.

The room I am in is large enough for a stone castle, I suppose. It was small enough to keep the warmth in and big enough so that it would not suffocate you. (Yes, I really mean that it _is_ a stone castle. Meaning that there was no electricity or indoor heating. All of which is bearable when you light a fire in a fireplace, cozy up in several layers of wool and feathered downs and dress appropriately before going to bed.) My room was square and it had three bay windows to the far side from you stood from the door. On the left was the fireplace made of stone and black with use. On the right was the bed I had slept in. It was a four poster bed and was extremely tall. Just sitting on the edge reminded me of how short I was. The walls were covered with tapestries and floor was covered with warm furs. For notable furniture, there was a wardrobe; several chests filled who knows what yet; a large circular table with chairs at the middle window, a vanity with a mirror above it and two embroidered chaises. Of course there was other furniture but do you need to know about the side table beside the bed or the table that held the basin?!

All in all, it was cozy but I needed to clean the room out before I felt it was mine. Either way, I got up, washed my face with the water from the basin and dressed. I had apparently taken some woman's room since there were dresses in the wardrobe. I tried to take a plain dress because who knew what I was going to do today and used magic to fit me like a glove. I know what you're thinking: "Eww, disgusting!" I really didn't care. My priority is my Master's happiness, not mine. As long as I'm presentable, I'm happy.

After slipping on some shoes, I went out into the hall and made my way down to the kitchens where we usually started the day. The Great Hall was still a mess but the food had been sent away by magic. Normally, I would be curious as to where all that good food had gone since it seemed like it was such a waste but what did I care?

I should probably note now that Poneros, despite being far from the Milky Way, felt and looked exactly like Eraklyon except it was slightly more archaic. The cultural similarities are frightening to note but coincidences are coincidences. Who am I to question it?

The kitchen was huge.

As it should be considering the size of the castle but it was still intimidating and such a waste at the same time. The oven was big enough to fit several people in there. What was the point of lighting and warming it up if it was to only feed two people? I felt the same for the rest of the kitchen. Everything was supersized to feed a whole castle but a 'whole castle' only meant two people.

Anyways, my Master, handsome as ever in a poet's shirt, dark trousers and leather boots, sat at a worktop eating. My heart races every time I see him. It's embarrassing but I do love him. Inside, my inner self is squealing like a little girl. He is just that beautiful. I mean, how can you _not_? Every morning that there was two plates on that same corner of the worktop and we would quietly eat. Every morning, Master would be quietly reading while biting into a bit of toasted bread. I preferred my toast with a large heaping creton and a slice of cheese with milk.

Every time I look at my Master's plate, I keep thinking 'He should eat more.' I don't know why I'm worried but the way his plate was always so barren scared me. I try to be quiet after I'm finish eating so I that don't disturb his reading. I usually end up staring at some corner of the kitchen for no apparent reason. I don't know why. I just do.

"Diaspro," he started abruptly. My attention was immediately on him. "You are a fairy, right?"

"Of course, my Lord." I nodded and wondered why he cared.

"You are the Fairy of what?"

"I am…I…" I drew a blank suddenly. My face contorted into worry. I am the Fairy of...? The Fairy of…? My memory was failing me again! No, no, no, no, no! This wasn't supposed to happen! How can I be a fairy if I do not know what I am guardian over?! Some fairy I am! Goddamnit!

I slanted my head down and tried to think. What kind of magic did I have? They obviously involved…involved…stones? My shoulders trembled and my eyes watered. This was a fairy's greatest shame to not know what one's affinity was. What was I? I knew I was a fairy, didn't I? I was a fairy, right? Yes, of course because I have wings that I can pull out of my back at will. Witches could not do that so I was not a witch at all? What am I saying?! I'm supposed to be looking for my affinity!

Why is remembering so hard for me?! Looking back on my childhood, I tried to remember every instance that I used magic to solve a problem. Childhood was not an option. I didn't remember it well anyways. Plus, I never used much magic back then. High school was my safe bet. I had gone to private school. A military private school. I had had some friends. A small amount but good friends. What had been my affinity? My study? Math, science, history, current events, languages, fine arts…I had never taken any magic classes in high school! Not even daily magical application classes! What was wrong with me?!

Something or someone flitted in my mind's eye. I closed my eyes. I couldn't stand to look at my Master anymore. I covered my face with my hands and tried to think even though tears were spilling from my eyes.

I uselessly tried to think on the last four years again. What was wrong?! How could I not know what I was?

Failure. It engulfed me. I had failed to do something. In my mind, I saw that familiar yet strange blond man. He looked so familiar. Then another memory faded into the blackness. There was a woman. Orange hair, blue eyes, fairy, light translucent wings, blue top and skirt, a gold crown.

And she was throwing fireballs at me! I was in some high wooden room flying. Something told me that it was underground and it was at a school. A 'red' school.

_"Crown jewels!"_ I screamed in my memory. A circle of stones appeared and made a golden barrier to take the fireballs.

What did that mean?

Betrayal. Surprise. Failure. All those feelings engulfed me. It was suffocating. I wanted to die. I had failed. I had let something slip by me and I had failed because of it. That redhead attacked my memory. She flew in and out of my half-sensible memories always attacking or screaming at me in every instance. She screamed insults, promises of revenge, even death.

I had stolen something from her? Did I? And _what?_

_"You traitor! You sided with him just to get to _me,_ didn't you?! You had to steal _him_, too, didn't you?! Why can't you leave us alone?!"_

_"Because_ I love him!_" _

That jarred me. Who was 'us?' The redhead and somebody else?

"Diaspro!" My Master's cried out into the dimness of my mind. "Wake up, Diaspro. Open your eyes."

I opened my eyes wide to find myself staring into my Master's concerned face. My face was a mess. It was wet with tears and I was sniffing and hiccupping. I then realised that I was lying on the floor with my Master's arms cradling me. I fainted.

* * *

**Latter Note: **Diaspro must be having an absolute horrible time.


	4. Chapter 4

**Wahnsinns des Herzens**

Friday, October 16, 2009

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the Winx Club or else Diaspro would have better parts in it.

**Fore Note:** I realize that this story is really creepy, judging from the point of view it's written. Inwardly, you know it's one of those stories you've been wanting to read. ^.^;

* * *

A fairy's greatest shame is not knowing what her affinity. A fairy's affinity is her very soul, her very being, her very existence. What are you if you do not know your affinity? _You are nothing!_ You are an empty shell with no purpose. A useless living carcass wondering the universe, not needed, not wanted, not desired.

A fairy _is_ her affinity. A fairy is born only when her affinity needs her. A fairy is born to protect her affinity. To guard and cherish it more than her own life and desires itself. A fairy is the physical manifestation of her affinity. The very voice of her affinity. She is born only because her affinity has a purpose for her. A fairy's purpose is to complete her affinity's task set for her because without her affinity, there is no fairy. A fairy is only what her affinity wishes.

Fairies were created to be the voice of the voiceless. Sentience is not merely any being that can feel anger or happiness and express his or herself to others likewise into symbols or sounds. Sentience is everything and everyone. Everything and everyone is sentience.

Nature is sentient but she has no voice. The Ocean is sentient but he has no voice. The Trees are sentient but they have no voice. A Hurricane is sentient but she has no voice. All Animals are sentient but they have no voice. This is the purpose of all fairies. To be the voice of the voiceless.

-

I'm sorry to say but I am truly pathetic. My Master asks me one simple question and I fall into a puddle of tears unable to answer. What kind of loyal minion am I? I am laughable; a shame! I could only hope that he is merciful and lets me stay with him if only for a few more days before he throws me away. I don't want to be thrown away! I don't want to leave him. I must do better.

I woke up in my room again. I think I blacked out but I wasn't sure and I didn't want to ask because then I would have to face my Master. I did not want to face him just yet. Shame could describe why.

Goddamnit, I love him yet I can't answer one some question. Why can't I remember anything anymore? I can't even remember my affinity. Surely, I have failed as my task as a fairy.

I wish that it would all just go away. Why does the last twenty years of my life matter anyways? Judging from what had just happened, it must have had been bad.

Does it matter?

No. I don't know why though. Oddly, I found this revelation relieving.

Yes. My Master wants to know my affinity and I must not fail him.

I turned over in my bed, noted that I was still in the dress I had picked earlier and curled up angry at my ineptitude. I don't know how long I stayed there but I realized that getting angry would accomplish nothing.

I got up, cleaned my face in the basin and left to try and make myself useful again to his Lordship. He was probably in the library.

-

Let me describe to you the castle.

Huge.

I'm sorry but that's the first word that comes to mind when I think of the sight that I had seen the first we came here. You would think that I would use some type of grander word like ' cyclopean' or 'tremendous' but words always failed me.

In essence, like my room, it is made entirely of stone or from what I can see of it. A stone castle. Very archaic but very simple. I loved it. It turns out that the castle had been carved out of the mountain and stood over the lake and serf village like a monument against nature. It was like a beacon of human efforts to show its place in nature. The back of the castle burrowed into the mountain but there were still three walls on the remaining sides that surrounded the main castle. There was an east and west wing to the castle where they met in the middle with large structure what could only be described as the 'main building.' There was a bailey with a large flower garden from what I saw in the windows. The actual castle itself stood way above the height of the fortifications but that did not mean much when considering that it was built on the side of a mountain.

The library was just above the Great Hall and to be frank, it was magnificent. One side was totally occupied by windows giving a marvelous view of the lake and forest. All the other walls were embedded with bookshelves. There were standalone bookshelves that made their own labyrinth and fireplace taller than me. (Of course, there was just about a fireplace in every room in the castle.) The floors were covered with a sea of carpets and chaises, tables and couches were scattered about.

I'm sorry. I know that my explanations are not very elegant or even captures a small amount of the beauty that was in every room but that is how I am.

I knocked tentatively on the door (the doors were open but it was always polite and common courtesy to make others aware of your presence). "My Lord?"

Might I add something here? I know that deep in my heart that the chances of my Master reciprocating my feelings are close to zero but he is just so…_there_.

Words fail me at this task. This man is so beautiful that I would do anything to be near him, to bask in his presence. Even join the forces of darkness to revel in his light. This man is my guiding light, my beacon in the darkness that was my life. I don't even know how I survived without him. I don't know why he is my light but I just know it. By just him commanding me to come to him meant that he had a purpose for me because honestly, did he really need me to survive? Even if my purpose was just to provide company, I would think no less of him.

My Master sat on a chaise near the dead fireplace reading. He bookmarked his page and motioned for me to come in and sit.

I did so and sat across from him on another chaise. I sputtered "I'm sorry," quietly. Don't cry, I told myself. I played with the lace at the helm of my sleeve and waited. My life's purpose was to serve him and do my best but what was I if I couldn't even tell him my affinity?

I think he showed surprise. He quirked an eyebrow and nodded. "Apology accepted," he said tensely; perplexed, I think, as if had not expected it. My heart was sang when he said this. This meant something deeply to me. I don't know what but I was glad that he accepted my apology.

"Thank you."

There was a silent moment between us. I watched him as he scrutinized some spot behind my head and made quick decisions, judging from that familiar glint in his eye that I knew every time he had was up to something. I sometimes worried when I saw that look.

"Diaspro, what do you know about memory spells?" he asked.

I straightened. "Memory spells?"

"Yes."

"Oh…um, nothing really. I never really studied far into magic."

"Really…" he said to himself. I felt the mark at my neck become warm slightly.

"I'm sorry if I'm not helpful—"

"That's fine." The mark cooled. "Diaspro, do you fully understand your contract with me?"

"I must do everything you tell me to do?" I said it like a mantra. "I must serve you to my fullest."

"Yes…do you know that your contract is no better than slavery?"

Suddenly, I felt as if I had awakened from an anesthesia-induced sleep. I shook my head for a moment and many thoughts came colliding into my head. Where was I again? A castle in Poneros. Where did I get the dress I was wearing? It certainly was not mine. Oh, the wardrobe in my room. "Yes. Why?"

"Why did you agree to it then?" he asked.

Words failed me immediately before I even opened my mouth and I turned beet red. Why did I do this again? Oh, of course, because I loved him. I didn't know it then but I did.

No, that was not the reason. It had to do with 'the end.' There was fear and loneliness and a chilling sense of not knowing.

"You were going to die," he said with his icy blue eyes just barely glowing like sunlight hitting freshly fallen pure white snow.

I stiffened immediately with surprise. "But how do you know that?"

"From what I understand, you were being sent home to be executed before I summoned you. Your mind is just like any book in this room, my dear," he extended his arms about him to bring into focus the library. "I can access your memories as I please since you belong to me," he answered.

"I…I was going to be executed?!" I screeched all of a sudden. "Why?!" I swallowed hard, still not understanding. What was I doing here again? With Valtor of all people? Was he not supposed to be evil? A dark wizard?

"Because you helped me."

I looked into his smoldering eyes and sly smile looking for some type of falsehood but found none. His face was too distractingly beautiful.

"But why would helping you be such a bad thing?"

"Ah, Diaspro, I have done things not quite agreeable with society at large."

"B-but…" I wanted to say something but I had no real reply.

"The point is, Diaspro, I want to offer you a change. A new start; a new life. And you can only take that if you stay with me. Your last life did not treat you very well or appreciate the value of your existence but_ I_, however, can. Your last life was loveless and aimless. It was a horrible life where you were not allowed to your own self. I can change that though, Diaspro. I can give you an aim, a life. Will you take it?"

I froze as if I had been hit by the proverbial train. All sorts of random facts came colliding in my head as I tried to understand what was going on. Somebody had wanted me dead in my 'last life.' Apparently, I had been loveless. Essentially useless. A horrible existence even. These were the only facts that I knew and he was the one who was giving them to me. He held all the facts of my life. How did I know if he was not lying? I couldn't. I didn't have much choice, anyways since where would I go if I declined?

I nodded and said, "Yes, I want to change."

-

I did not feel any different after saying those words nor did my Master stand up, walk over to me and swept me up in his arms (although I could always dream). After that, he had set me on the task of cleaning the bedrooms out in our hallway where our bedrooms were and try to collect some things for myself like clothes and personal objects to make my stay at his castle a little more bearable. I did not ask about the purpose he had for me in the future since it felt inappropriate but I did however ask something.

"My Lord," I said standing up as he went to scour through the library. He stopped momentarily and looked at me.

"Yes?"

"I have to ask but what happened at breakfast?"

He quirked an eyebrow. "You fainted."

"Why?"

"From remembering too deeply."

"How come?" I said simply.

"I have blocked off certain sections of your memory. I didn't think that finding your affinity would be so embedded in your past so after you fainted, I brought you to your room and rummaged a little."

"In my memory?" I said in a small voice. I was awed by my Master's skill. Memory was a tricky art and one of those forbidden, or Verboten, studies that everyone knew. It was one thing to be empathic or telepathic, it was another to rearrange or create memories.

"Of course."

I was silent for a moment as he pulled out a book from a shelf.

"I am the fairy of what then, my Lord?"

"You are indeed not the fairy of gemstones, I will tell you that."

After that, I questioned no further as he clearly was not going to answer and left.

* * *

**Latter Note:** I don't actually have much to say but I do plan on moving it a little more. Tell me what you think.


End file.
